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There was a complex network of looks and signals that men used to use to attract each other, something that made gay men much more attuned to body language and perceptive than our straight counterparts. CruiseĮveryone used to know to glance over your shoulder after three steps if you were interested in that sexy stranger on the sidewalk. And it will put you in touch with the brave bottle throwers who started the Stonewall Riots back in the day. But one night when the femme is in total control will never make you fear it again. "No fems," has been branded into all of our mentality. So many gay men are afraid of even the slightest bit of swish being detected. It will it unleash a personality you didn't even know you had in you and it will make you OK with femininity. Dress in dragĮven if it's just once for Halloween, go out in the world wearing the clothing of the opposite gender. Just pick one, and never ever ever ever leave her. The diva of choice doesn't need to be one of the familiar one-named ladies of song (Madonna, Cher, Judy, Liza, Barbra, Mariah, Gaga, and both Bettes), it can be anyone from Joni Mitchell to Courtney Love, Diana Vreeland to Patsy Stone, Hilary Clinton to Michelle Obama. Having a strong female icon is somehow central to the gay identity (for more on that, pick up Halperin's book) and harkens back to the darkest days of gay identity when these troubled broads were the closest thing you could find to a representation of gay life. So in this age of mainstreaming, where gay men come out of the closet not to attend dinner parties of catty queens like themselves and the cast of Boys in the Band but to a room of welcoming members of society both straight and gay, how can we form a culture of our own? If there are a million ways to be gay, can we settle on a few key experiences every gay man should experience to draw them together?Įveryone needs a Kylie, even if you think Time Bomb is kind of a crappy song. It's a mode of perception, an attitude, an ethos: in short, it is a practice." As the New York Times review of his book points out, the thing that really brings gay people together is their culture.
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In his new book, How to Be Gay, professor David M Halperin says: "Gayness is not a state or condition.
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Gay men and women don't share a place of origin, skin color, socio-economic class, religion, or anything else that would typify their experience. “He later sold the ‘hook up’ videos to a third party located overseas and caused them to be posted onto the website.” More than 600 videos were on the site when agents found it ()Īgents working for Homeland Security Investigations discovered that at least 80 of the men had no idea that their sexual acts were being filmed and would later be posted online.Ī law enforcement document stated: “When the men ask for assurances that there are no cameras, he assured them that ‘she’s’ married to someone in the Army and she would never photograph or video them.But, then again, maybe they gay community needs some sort of shared experience – outside of the experience of falling in love with a member of the same sex – to bring us together. “The defendant had surreptitiously made audio and video recordings of the sexual encounters, without the victims’ knowledge or consent. “The site offered for streaming approximately 619 ‘hook up’ videos that depicted sexual activity between Deneumostier and other men,” the US Attorney’s Office said.
The website, which hosted videos of straight men being conned into gay sex while they wore blindfolds or black-out goggles, has now been taken down, but many of its more than 600 videos are still available online. Deneumostier posed as a woman to the men, both online and in real life (susanleon33326/twitter) The federal court in Miami heard how the defendant went by the username susanleon33326 online, posing as a “real, heterosexual female” in Craigslist adverts which invited men for sex at his house near Homestead Reserve Air Base.ĭeneumostier then uploaded videos of the resultant sex acts to Straightboyz, which authorities said he helped to run for four years.